I recently listened to
this podcast episode that sparked me to write this. Until recently, I thought charisma was a negative thing to have. It’s too often interchanged with charm, and I think charm is possibly one element of charisma. However, charisma is a much deeper deep dive of a person, and one that I have found gets us far in life if we do have it. Unbeknownst to me, I have always had an element of charisma. Maybe we all do. Looking back, it came rather naturally to me when I was able to live in my most connected self. While I was a fairly shy person growing up, I think it was due to insecurities and unsureness because of my familial situation. When I left home for university and also moved to another state, my charisma started to shine. Now, I am curious about the traits of charismatic people and where I fit into this. I asked ChatGPT about this topic and found some things I was looking for, and I want to share with you, and some anecdotes from my own life.

Resting by the Seine in Paris
I was pleased to know that confidence was one of the traits of charismatic people because I generally have confidence - I thought. One of my blogs is actually about
how to feel more confident because, to me, it’s a hugely important piece to our life’s puzzle in success. Even when you aren’t sure of things, you can still have the inner confidence to know you’re perfectly imperfect, and that is attractive to others. People can detect insecure people from a mile away, and it’s somewhat of a turn-off, depending on what the insecurity is. Deep confidence, I believe, is connected with a solid understanding of our worthiness. When I realized this, I also realized that my confidence was not as authentic as I had thought in all aspects of my life. It wasn’t until I worked on my self-worth that I really developed the truest form of confidence that I have ever experienced. Because I am solid in both of these areas, I am able to exude more charisma throughout my life.

Solid Communication Skills
Communicating has never been an issue for me. I’ve always had the ability to express myself. How.ev.er….it hasn’t always been pleasant to be the recipient, nor has it always come from a place of love on my end. Having effective communication skills is one of the traits of charismatic people according to ChatGPT, and I definitely agree. Now, I realize that I am absolutely not for everyone in the room. What I am, though, is clear. Anyone who doesn’t like that or disagrees with me can bugger off. I have identified what is important to me and I implement that in my communication with other people, regardless of how I think it may make them feel. Also, it gives them the confidence in me that I will always tell them the truth about whatever it is I’m communicating. This is a skill that we can all continue to build and be better at doing.

Hanging Out with the Most EI People I Know
Wow. I wish I could scream this from every rooftop from here to Paris. The importance of emotional intelligence is becoming greater and greater for any relationship to thrive. While one of the traits of charismatic people is emotional intelligence, I really think this should be its own blog post. Throughout the years I have deep dived into developing my own emotional intelligence for a number of reasons. First and foremost, the home I grew up in was one of the most stunted environments I could’ve experienced and I knew if I succumbed to that level of EI I would fail at many areas of life that were important to me. What I quickly realized was that it was so familiar to me to have a low EI level that I settled for partners and friends who had virtually none. It took me until around my 40s to get radical about my pursuit in pushing hard for my own EI development and demanding the people around me to either grow or step aside. I’m much happier for it.

Life is a Gift - Positively!
Positivity is something that I would not say came naturally for me. As I’ve mentioned earlier, the household I grew up in was not positive. It was one of constant griping and one-upping another on how bad things are. Yuck. Growing into adulthood, I realized how incredibly miserable I was to be around too often and decided something had to give. After dating a guy for a little while and having him literally leave me on New Years Eve because I was “so negative and unhappy” I realized the problem was actually me. That’s good data, albeit not pleasant to experience. It gave me a lot to work with and today I can proudly state that one of the traits of charismatic people, positivity, is one that I am. Waking up in the morning is a gift to me each day - one that I don’t take for granted. The world and God are working and conspiring for me, making my life a series of unbelievable blessings that help me see good in most things, even the unpleasant things. An easy way to be more positive is to have gratitude. I’m going to highly recommend if you don’t have enough gratitude in your life, work on this first. It will change everything you experience.

Inspirational/Influential
To be inspirational and influential is a powerful thing. We’re all influencers to a degree, though, whether we consider ourselves that or not. When we go out to eat and have a great experience, we tell everyone we know so they can go and we can get the credit of being the informer. Maybe we hire a car detailer who doesn’t do his job. Aren’t we immediately reporting it to social media so we make sure no one else gets ripped off? To have influence and inspiration over others is one of the traits of charismatic people. It’s one that I decided I want to use for good. Some of the ways I do that is hosting book groups with women where we read empowering and enlightening books that help us show up to our lives more fully. I also post videos each week of what I purchase from the farmers market so my followers are also inspired to go there and
support local farmers. One last thing I do is share my love for cats and how I feel stray cats each day. It’s all influencing and inspiring others to do the same, and making the world a better place.

Recently I asked a group of people who know me fairly well to share three words that they think of when they think of me. Authentic was one word that more than one person used to describe me. Not only was I honored, I also was happy to see that it was included in ChatGPT’s list of traits of charismatic people. There’s a lot that goes into the ability to be authentic. I don’t have statistics, but from my vast experience with people in general, the ability to be authentic is difficult. It takes a lot of awareness about many things: oneself, letting go of what others think of you, being aligned with oneself and one’s actions, trusting your intuition, and being vulnerable. Without these elements, how would anyone truly be authentic? I wrote a blog on ways to be more authentic - ways to find yourself. If you haven’t begun this journey, it’s a challenging but worthy one, and one that you will never regret. As I’ve stepped into my most authentic self, I am unshakable in my peace and my resolve in life. It’s a magical place to be.

Hanging Out with Another Charismatic Lady
Our bodies are all-telling. How many social media reels or memes have we seen where someone is trying to keep a straight face while another person is saying something wild but our faces are giving us away the whole time? It’s impossible for us to lie and have our bodies not call us out. In fact, we can become ill if we try to have our minds attempt to betray us. To have good body language, one of the most physical traits of charismatic people, we must be mentally aligned with how we present ourselves. What people see is what they will think of us. I remember folding my arms a lot when talking to people because I simply wasn’t comfortable with myself. Since doing “the work” on myself, I posture much differently. My back is straight, my neck is up and exposed, and my arms are (usually) open, signaling a deep comfort and vulnerability to others that I am just fine displaying to the world. Start noticing yourself and practicing in the mirror. See how people respond to you, and take it as a learning experience - data. We are always able to alter and change course, and that is a gift.
Going through life can be mindless or mindful, and the choice is all yours. I’ve chosen to be on the hyper side of noticing how I show up to my life. While I know I am not for everyone, and maybe not even most, I am for some. Those are the people who see my charisma and what I have to offer within that realm positively. They follow me, they like me, and they support me. Most importantly, they know I am actually who they see, not someone who presents as one thing and is completely different on the back end. The traits of charismatic people vary from person to person, and these are examples of mine within the umbrella of what charisma is. This is a great exercise to do if you have never given it much thought. You’ll get much further in whatever your endeavor is by working on your skills in the charisma department. I know I have. The best part is that it’s all you, all sincere, and all able to be improved upon. Don’t be shy about owning it. I can’t wait to experience your newfound charisma!
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