Ways to Feel More Confident

Being a confident person is something that I would imagine most people want to achieve. Some people naturally have more than others, so it seems, and we wonder how that happens. There are those whose parents did a good job with helping them build it, and there are those who have built it up themselves through the years. And then there are people who generally lack it. I’m in the middle group, and I’ve really honed in on ways to feel more confident because, frankly, it’s easier to go through days with it. It’s one of the attributes that allows me to lean into my gifts, my talents, and my interests. Feeling good about yourself can come in several ways, and I’m going to share with you how I achieve that with small but deliberate actions.

Showing Clients Amazing Listings

Experience Matters

We’ve gone overboard with using the phrase “imposter syndrome” in my opinion. Imposter syndrome is simply an insecurity, or lack of confidence, and that is what the problem for many people is in many areas of life. Well, how do we resolve that? Effort, experience, not giving up. When I started one of my businesses (real estate), I had no idea what I was doing. Even today I wonder how my clients early on trusted me, but somehow I managed to get them to do so. One of the ways to feel more confident is repetition. I didn’t give up on myself, and I persevered until I felt more confident. Even today, I am still zeroing in on how I can add or eliminate practices to gain that confident feeling. And that is in all the areas of my life. Practice does not make perfect, but it does help build confidence.

Dressing for Success for My Parisian Photo Shoot

Dress for Success

I’ve written a whole blog on dressing for success, which I will link here. Dressing for success is definitely one of the best ways to feel more confident. Say what you will, but when you know you look good, you exude an energy that no one can squash. In the hardest times of my life, getting dressed each day in an outfit that I felt good about was imperative for my mental health. It brought me to a place in my head where, when I passed a mirror, I thought “you’ve got it, girl.” The act of getting dressed for my own success is more than putting on clothes. It is getting into a winning mindset. When something does not go right in my day, that added boost helps me get back on track more quickly and easily, and that is confidence-building.

Practicing My Photography Skills on Friends

Try New Things

Step it out, folks. Get that familiar and comfort zone shaken up. When you humble yourself to try new things and see that the world is not actually going to end because you are doing something new, it builds confidence. It’s hard sometimes because many of us are petrified to try new things. Someone might see us screwing up and make fun of us. It might feel uncomfortable. Good! First of all, when you’re building your repertoire of ways to feel more confident, you have to know that it’s a process. It doesn’t happen overnight. Trying new things is so refreshing, and when you do, you get to see first hand what you like and don’t like. I had no idea I loved writing this much, but now that I do, I have only improved as time has gone on. Practicing is the best way to combat insecurity, and insecurity is the opposite of confidence.

Delicious Homemade Quiche

Take Care of Your Body

There’s nothing like fueling your body with good food and moving it in all the right ways. Eating whole foods and exercising are two things on any given day that I refuse to compromise on. I’ve even decided to cut back on drinking because, while I love me a glass of wine, it does not love me back. Doing the right things for my body has been tweaked over the years, and I am now proud to say that it’s one of the ways to feel more confident because I have tried it and succeeded at it. There’s no such thing as perfect, so when I opt for a little too much wine or the loaded nachos at the Mexican restaurant, I don’t beat myself up. My typical routine is an awesome one, and feel more secure in my body than ever. As an aging woman, that makes me feel really proud.

One of My Journals

Keep a Daily Journal

Why would daily journaling be on my list of ways to feel more confident? Because I am literally talking to myself and hammering out what it is that I love, hate, want to change, or whatever else that my heart desires to discuss in my journal. It is my own private space to pour my heart out, and no one is there to judge me. It’s given me the confidence to know that leaving my husband was not a snap decision, that I had put in the best effort, and that the same problems were being perpetuated. My journal has been my lifeline and my saving grace, and I am grateful to myself for keeping one. Each morning, I wake up and it’s the first thing I do for 35-45 minutes. There is always a good amount to discuss with myself, and I love going back once in a while, especially around the year mark, to see how far I’ve come. Scribble scribble, my friends. Linked here is my favorite one.

Learned About Gilles, Our Favorite Parisian Bouquiniste

Be Curious About Others

One of the ways to feel more confident that I have experienced is being curious about other people. Getting to know others’ experiences and stories have helped in so many ways and turned into one of the ways to feel more confident. Whether it’s through new friends telling their life lessons, memoirs that I read, or podcasts I listen to, my curiosity about others is very strong. I find people fascinating in general, and I love to know more about them. If you’re only hanging around with the same people you’ve always known, you’re missing out on a whole world of knowledge and experience. Find some folks who have interesting things to share. Not everyone does, but many people do. And what I have found is that when I am very open with them, they are open with me. That is the easiest way to crack the shell of plenty of people, and you get to enter a world that you would’ve otherwise never known. Try it - you’ll be delighted.

Loving Friends

Who Are You Hanging Out With?

What a great segue into the “who” you are spending time with. I’m going to tell you straight up, I’ve not always kept great company. And by “not great,” I mean not healthy for me. Part of it was my unconscious mind making the decision. I grew up in a house with pretty low standards regarding expectations placed on others, so my bar was low. As I’ve grown, sought out therapy, coaches, and my own spiritual journey, I have elevated my standards and reframed how I look at relationships. When I tell you it’s one of the most profound ways to feel more confident, I’m not lying. Surrounding myself with people who are honest but kind, loving but firm, and many other good things, my life has changed. My confidence has skyrocketed. I wish this for every single person who walks this earth. However, what I know is that many people feel such bondage to certain relationships (usually dysfunctional) that they don’t get this full experience. If you do, you will live a life you don’t recognize. I am.

High Five-ing Myself in a Bathroom Mirror!

Applaud Yourself

Giving myself some love is something I have practiced for years. I say practice because that’s what it is. Celebrating myself, applauding myself, giving myself TLC…that wasn’t normal growing up. This is why I love adulting and re-parenting myself. I’m doing all the things I didn’t get as a child, and damn does it feel super. When I do things that I am proud of, I do something sweet for myself. It could be as small as booking a massage to reading a little more in a day to booking a whole trip to Europe. What I make sure of is that I am taken care of. No one else is going to. And I mean no one. Not in the kindest, gentlest, most generous ways that we can take care of ourselves. When you give yourself that kind of love and reverence, you’ll see that it’s probably the best of the ways to feel more confident. You deserve it, and don’t ever let another person tell you otherwise.

Know Your Finances

Before recently, I would not have put this on the list of ways to feel more confident, but now I absolutely will put that on here. After filing for divorce, I was panicked about my finances. My businesses are not consistent with earnings, as they are both primarily commissions or orders. There is not a great way to know who will pop up and buy a house or sign up for one of my fabulous trips or purchase a notecard set. My solution was to hire a finance coach who is not tied to any particular institution, that helped me sort out my money, and then invest it appropriately for my needs. I now feel like an absolute badass. Going from freaking out to feeling confident is something that I didn’t know I could so quickly, but that is what happened. When you understand your money, you can better prepare and feel really good about everyday life. Like it or not, money absolutely matters in this world. When you can accept that, you will be able to use it as a very positive tool, like I have.

To Sum It Up

There are plenty of ways to feel more confident, and these are just a few that I have practiced and continue to practice for myself. I’m in love with finding new things to do, new ways to help myself be a better version of myself, and to pass it on to others. Confidence is something that I wish for every person on earth, as it completely changes how people interact with one another. The best news is that it’s all achievable. You just have to prioritize. I have the utmost confidence in YOU to make your world a very secure place. Now, get to work and get that confidence build so you can go out and do awesome things.

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