How to Stay Positive When Nothing is Going Right

I wasn’t always an optimist. The household I grew up in rarely felt optimistic or positive, and I remember thinking that optimism was for dreamers. Maybe it is, and I would now consider myself more of a dreamer, and I'm overjoyed about it. Over the years, with much practice and interest in becoming a more positive person, I can confidently say that I am. We can all be fair-weather optimists when things are going right in our lives. That’s cheating, in my opinion, and it’s not true optimism. When you’re able to stay positive when nothing is going right, you’ve cracked the code to a much happier and more fulfilling life.

I’m going to share with you ways I think and practices that I have implemented that help me stay in a good mental headspace. To me, it’s the way I have maintained the demeanor I have, and how I can keep my energy high and good. When you do this, you are an unstoppable force and people love to be around you (most of all your own self) - and, equally importantly, the right kind of people.

During our time together here, I’m going to share what I have learned. This is my own journey, and it’s one that I’ve created specifically for myself. It’s going to be complimentary to my blog about how to choose your hard. I’ve gleaned tips and information from dozens and dozens of people, from life experiences, books, and other resources like podcasts, and now I'm putting them into practice. Staying positive in my life has always been important to me. And I get to make sure it happens every single day if I so wish. There are so many links of positivity to life longevity, to overall mental and physical health, to better relationships. How could you not want to make sure you are able to stay positive even when nothing is going right? After all, the “negative” is merely your perception of what's happening. Let's take some deep breaths and get into it.

One of My Favorite Photos

As I stated earlier, there are many reasons to stay positive when nothing is going right. Some may be obvious and some may not be. They are all pieces to the puzzle of a life well lived and each one is important. We are all so connected - to ourselves, to each other, to the energy around us. It’s impossible to be in a negative space for long when you choose to allow yourself to think more positively, regardless of what challenges come up in life. I’ve had countless situations that people (and in the moment I myself) have thought are unfortunate. With my ultimate choice to look on the positive side, I’m able to see that all of it is working in my favor. And I have gratitude for it. I'll go into more depth of the importance of staying positive.

Other People Feel Your Mood

When you get pessimistic or negative, or that is your full-time mood, it affects everyone around you. Being around someone who can never see the positive is tiring, and it’s a huge imposition on other people. When your choice (because yes, it’s a choice) is to bring the temperature down in the room, everyone feels it. For the sake of others, it’s a great idea to practice positivity and be the one who people look to for goodness.

Recovery Time is Quicker

After something unpleasant happens, it is much easier to recover when you have an optimistic personality. How do I know this? I’ve been practicing it a lot. Adulting can be extremely challenging. If I got bent out of shape about all the perceived disappointments I have had in the course of my life, I would be hiding under my sheets and never coming out from under them. However, because of my optimistic attitude, I know that there is always an outcome that will serve me, even if I don't know why or what it is yet.

Joy Through Pain

Even during some of the times I am feeling down, I am able to see the good in a situation. I’m not Pollyanna, and I don’t want to be, but I do want to be a happy person. An expression of gratitude and joy despite things not going a certain way is a way to bring your life to the next level. It’s a huge step in the right direction for staying positive. Maybe it’s as simple as “I’m so grateful to be able to breathe in and out easily.” Or “thank goodness for the fact that I live in a house with a roof and have food to eat today.” It’s redirection and ability to get out of a negative space. Finding joy through the pain is an awesome talent, and one you can absolutely achieve.

Your Physical Self Will Be Top Notch

When I say I almost never get sick, I’m not kidding. My positive mindset and declaration that I am a healthy person all the time has helped me go through my life without much illness. It is the best thing I have ever decided, and I don’t take it lightly. This is the height of how to practice self care, in my opinion. When you can be an optimist from the inside out, you are going to live in a way that you could only imagine. Trust me, I am doing it. My body feels so strong and capable. It is so worth it to get to a place of positivity and optimism.

Happy!

When you stay positive when nothing seems to be going right, you are exercising your right to live a very fulfilling and robust life. The people around you start to either catch on or fall away, and you find yourself mentally stronger and more capable. Perhaps you start to wake up with more energy or you have a little more bounce in your step. When I wake up now, I turn on my bedside lamp, put my feet in my cozy slippers, and hug my pets who are so enthusiastic about our morning routine. Waking up early could seem to some like drudgery, but not to my household. We are so excited to start our lives at that time, to drink the best coffee, get back into the comfiest bed, and snuggle. It's an absolute gift to be able to do this day after day in a safe, comfortable home.

Negative thoughts plague us all. No one is exempt from having dark and unwelcome thoughts just because we wish to not have them. Regardless of how grateful I am throughout any day, when things get tough, I often find myself thinking negatively about some situation. The key is to shift those thoughts to doing something more positive In fact, I was having negative thoughts before I started writing this, so I decided to practice what I am preaching and change direction. Voilà! I got myself out of being negative to feeling excited about writing. Here are some ways I shift my thoughts.

Challenge Negative Thoughts

When a negative thought pops into your mind, give yourself a little test and ask if it's true or an old version of you trying to protect you. Many times it's coming from some old programming and thinking rather than our current reality. Challenging these thoughts gives you the opportunity to put those old habits to bed, little by little.

Focus On What You Can Control

There's nothing I love more than trying to control everything around me. It's a great way to send myself into a downward spiral, so I often find myself bringing myself back to what I CAN control, and giving the rest to God, the universe, and anyone or anything else except me. We only control so much, and the rest is left up to another plan that might not be ours.

Practice Daily Gratitude

This is something I have gotten pretty good at because I think about, simply enough, my health. Boy, am I grateful for my health each and every day of my life. I express that out loud, in the morning. Gratitude will not eliminate all other negative or bad thoughts for the rest of the day, but it's easier to bring it back if they creep in.

Limit Negative Inputs

Do not underestimate external inputs from dragging you down. Whether it's the news, social media, or a person telling you bad news, it might be time to dial any or all of them down by a lot or completely. Take space from negativity, and don't worry if you don't know all the bad things going on in the world. People are constantly surprised at how little I know about this or that going on. I don't want to! It doesn't help my mental peace, so no thank you.

Celebrate Small Wins

My tush remains in the struggle bus when it comes to celebrating small wins. Just this morning, I was noting this poor habit to a friend after having an amazing occurrence happen to me. One of my biggest goals is to stop, pause, and let my little wins wash over me so I can see what a wonderful life I have. It can be that easy, even if just for a moment.

Working Out Always Makes Me Feel 10/10

Below I’ll expound on the actual things I do to stay positive during difficult times in my life, because they do come. Not everyday feels like I’m walking through a lush rainforest filled with tropical birds, waterfalls, and rainbows. However, there are things I can do to bring myself into that very emotion and headspace and I am going to share them with you. It would be my biggest dream for all of us to be able to stay positive no matter what, so I’ll continue writing my own experiences to help anyone who it resonates with. This is important stuff, and I am so grateful you’re interested in it.

Journaling

Journaling quickly became my go-to for getting out of any funk that I am in so I can remain more positive and process things happening in my life. It’s just me, my pen, and my favorite journal getting out all of the things in my head that I need to get out. I can’t think of a more amazing way to talk yourself into a good mood than journaling. Personally, I journal for about 45 minutes each morning, with my pets snuggled around me in our bed and a delicious cup of coffee to sip. It’s heaven on earth. And I am a huge advocate of this method of getting into a good headspace.

Taking Time to Yourself

Whether this is as simple as a walk around the block or an entire solo trip, I highly recommend you taking some time to yourself, and by yourself. It’s a very underutilized activity that makes some people uncomfortable. However, you will understand yourself so much better when you spend time by yourself and honor your emotions, feelings, needs, desires, and anything else that comes up. You may even find your solutions come more quickly when you’re ale to shut out everyone else's noise.

Asking a Friend for a Chat

My friends’ ears are bleeding half the time, I am convinced. I’m not afraid to ask my friends for a little bit of their time when I need to work through things, though. We have an understanding of that sometimes we don’t have time right then, but we always make time for each other. Having people to talk to that will give you constructive and sound feedback is such a life hack to getting into a positive space. Get yourself some friends that are the real deal and help you out of that funk.

Reading a Good Book

When my head is all over the place and spiraling, sometimes I just need to sit down with a cup of tea and a good book to snap out of it. The book could be fiction or self-improvement. Either way, I can get out of my own way so that I can regain composure and positivity and not let my day be consumed. If you’re not a reader of books, perhaps an article or magazine about something uplifting.

Practicing Self Care

I’ve spent a lot of my 40s learning how to practice self care because it was not something I witnessed or knew existed growing up. Treating yourself well was ridiculed and mocked, and as I got older I realized what a sad space that is. Today, I am proud to say that I do many things to take good care of myself. And I encourage you to do the same. No one in the world is able to take care of you as well as you are. Exercise this right because it absolutely helps you stay more positive when things are tough.

Moving Your Body

Moving your body is a gift, and one that I hope you don’t take for granted. If you know what it’s like to get your body moving, whether through walking or dancing or kickboxing or any other movement, you will not want to be without it. I’ve had a regular yoga and Pilates practice for decades. And because I have my little dog, I go on walks everyday and the occasional bike ride with him strapped to my front. We are all more positive beings for these activities. And I encourage you to find some movement each day to be as well.

Schedule Therapy

Sometimes therapy is just simply the best solution for you. I’ve had a therapist for approximately 15 years. And while I don’t go on a very regular basis anymore, it’s helped me get into a headspace that I am proud of. Now when I go to therapy, I am sharing with her my wins and occasional challenges that seem to get less and less. Not only am I proud of myself, but she is proud of me too. Having an unbiased advocate is something I never realized was so important. Therapy is something I think everyone could use. It’s empowering and liberating.

Help Someone Else

Getting out of your own self-pity can easily start with helping someone else. Perhaps is as simple as opening a door for someone with no expectation of them saying thank you. Maybe it’s buying the next person in line a coffee. If you can afford it, buy a meal for a friend. These acts of generosity help you to get your head in a positive way. Each time I do something for someone else, I am elated and feel like $1M. Sometimes I feel like I am stealing joy from the universe in the very best ways. Try it if it’s not currently in your practice. Each and every day do something that you can feel good about for someone else.

Dive Deep into Faith

This won’t be for everyone, but it will be for some. My faith is what sets me apart from a lot of people. There is a very deep peace I feel in my life because of the strength of my faith in God. Whenever I am feeling a bit off or heading down a negative path, it’s easy enough for me to drop into my faith and know that God has my best interest in mind. At this stage of my life, I know this is the truth because every single thing that has happened to me has always worked out and I am better for it. Everything. If faith scares you, I’ll be your support. I’ve got enough for both of us.

I Love Positive Mirror Signs!

Positive thinking is a skill that becomes greater with practice. While practice typically does not equal perfection, these exercises will help train your mind to focus on more positive outcomes instead of problems.

Keep A Gratitude Journal

Specifically writing down things you are grateful for in a particular journal will give you a lot to reflect on each day. Some days, it might be the same few things. Other days, you might realize that life is truly marvelous. Writing them down gives you data for your future you to see how far you've come, too.

Write Down Your Wins

My friend and I have a daily email practice where we write to each other in the morning, stating what we are grateful for, stressed out about, our losses and wins. Putting your wins out there, written down, gives you the opportunity to feel good in that moment, and for moments to come when you read back on them. I highly recommend this practice.

Use Positive Affirmations

I'm showing my age, but this reminds me of Stuart Smalley on Saturday Night Live when I was a kid looking in the mirror stating "I'm good enough, smart enough, and doggone it, people like me." Whatever your affirmation is, state it out loud or write it down. You are far stronger than you think, and disclosing that to yourself will help you in challenging times.

Reframe A Challenge

Some people would look at my life and think that I must love to make myself as uncomfortable as possible. The thing is, I love being my own scientist and testing myself in many situations. The only way to get comfortable is by initially being uncomfortable. And the more you work this muscle, the more you know you can handle challenges. You got this. I know you do.

Practice A Daily Brain Dump

At the end of the day, dump all your worries onto...well, somewhere. In your notes app, on a piece of paper, in a book. Get them out of your head so you can have a good night of sleep and let your brain recover. You can go back to it with a fresh perspective and a rested mind. It will serve you much better than stewing over them all night.

Spend Time In Nature

If you could just go outside and put your feet in some grass, go for a walk, pet some dogs while on said walk, you would be a new human. You don't need to go to a forest or a beach to accomplish this task. It just takes walking outside and getting out of your head for a little bit. Don't bring your phone, either. Just you and your nature.

Mocktail in a Fancy Glass

Creating a positive mindset is no overnight miracle. It's a lifetime of effort, especially if your natural baseline is a bit on the negative side. We aren't all built the same, and some of us tend to be more positive or negative than the next. No matter, just do your best and what you can each and every day. Here's how to work some magic on the mindset.

Choose Your Environment Carefully

I am absolutely fanatical about this and it shows in how quickly I move away from people who do not align with my level of positivity or growth mindset. There is no one on this earth that deserves to take your peace or comfort, so be radical when it comes to choosing your environment carefully. This goes for work and at home.

Take Care Of Your Physical Health

Your mental and physical health are closely connected, and I believe much of this has to do with what we eat and consume. I am a big believer in cooking healthy foods, not drinking much alcohol, and treating your body with regard and reverence. Getting a good night of sleep each night is also a big one. You only have one in this life, and it's wise to take care of it.

Focus On Progress, Not Perfection

Coming from a recovering perfectionist, I am here to tell you perfection is a myth and does not exist. No one and nothing is perfect, and that's what makes this life so incredibly beautiful. We can screw up as many times as we want, and all that tells us is that we are LIVING. We are TRYING. What an absolute gift to ourselves and to the world.

Develop A Growth Mindset

I wrote an entire article on the importance of growth mindset. In a nutshell, it gives you many more opportunities in life, and you will be an overall much happier person with a growth mindset. Being stuck in old thinking keeps you where you are, and in reference to trying to get out of negative mindset, it will keep you there. I've seen it in my life with people I used to be close to, and I moved as far away from them as I could.

Protect Your Peace

Peace comes in a lot of different ways. The older I get, the more I see that silence and quiet are involved in protecting my peace. There's no need to shout my opinions or arguments from the rooftop, because frankly, no one cares. Disengage when you see situations not going anywhere, and move towards recovery and re-establishing your own peace. It's real flex when you get to this point.

Create A Vision For Your Future

Fantasizing about my future life is something I love to do. Not in a way that makes me ungrateful for the life I have now, but allowing myself to dream of future successes and positive outcomes is quite amazing. It's motivating, and I think it will help motivate you if you give yourself the space and ability to go down that road. Get crazy, too. No one has a harness on your dreams and imagination.

I Love Positive Mirror Signs!

If getting into a positive space when things are not going well is something you feel is impossible, I am here to share that it is not. I've worked at it and can honestly say it's one of the best things I've ever worked on for myself. My life is so much better for it. And I like myself more, and others like me more as well. It's always more pleasant to be around people who are positive. And while I am acknowledging that hard times do come, they don't have to ruin your life. You are able to control your own outlook, and that is all this is about. No one can predict outcomes or circumstances, but you can work on how you think about and perceive them. I hope this helps you get to that good space, and your life is elevated from here.

If you liked this blog, you might also like the one I wrote about how to stay positive in a negative environment or becoming the main character of your life.

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