How To Stay Positive In A Negative Environment

We’ve mostly all been there. A negative environment or situation that we wonder how we let ourselves get into. One day we wake up feeling depressed, down, fraught, or any other feeling word that you can think of. The reality is that we cannot control anything outside of ourselves, but we absolutely can control our actions, our mindset, our next steps. A wonderful quote from Edith Eger, a holocaust survivor, is “just remember, no one can take away from you what you’ve put in your mind.” She wrote that in her book “The Choice,” which is a powerful read and one that I recommend. When you’re in a negative environment, it can and likely will take a toll on your mental health. I’ve experienced this firsthand in personal relationships and negative work environment(s), and sometimes the two have been combined (working with family).

Most importantly, the effort to stay positive is my best recommendation. If you can find ways that help you to stay mentally healthy and not fall into the doldrums of your external situation, you will be able to move forward and change things step by step. Remember that nothing changes if nothing changes. Your only control is you, and while blaming others and situations seems easier, it will get you exactly nowhere. I’m going to share with you about the importance of taking accountability for yourself, your positive mindset, and your actions. It’s going to make your world a more positive place, and help you to shift that unfortunate environment to something more positive. I’ve got lots to say, so let’s see what that is.

You’re preaching to the choir about someone who has been through the wringer in life. I’ve been in many situations where I am crying everyday after work at my family’s business, locking myself in a closet to talk to my therapist, and other situations that were slowly killing my joy and any semblance of a positive attitude. There was a time where I felt so isolated and alone that I thought the only people who would not judge me were my therapist and my coach (people I paid). I knew that wasn’t going to be the end-all for my precious life, and knew that I was going to have to take steps to learn to better stay positive in my negative environment.

I’m not saying it was easy, but I can say it’s worth it. And I am going to share with you why and what I did in this blog.

My Spicy Girl Tortoise Shell Cat Letting Me Cuddle Her

If you think it’s easy to stay positive in a negative environment, I can attest that it is not. The main thing that breaks down is our mental health, and it snowballs from there. I want to dive into some of the ways that it’s difficult to stay positive first, and then we will see what we can do to combat them.

Misery Loves Company

I’m imagining that if your environment is not very positive, a contributing factor is the people around you. My guess is that they are not positive people, and it rubs off on you. They may even be downright abusive. It would make any type of positivity feel like climbing the highest mountain, so why bother?

It’s Simply Exhausting

Once you get into a negative cycle, it’s easy to stay there. It becomes the default. The effort to get out of it is so much harder than if you were never in it in the first place. Sort of like maintaining your weight versus trying to lose it after years of unhealthy eating. The maintenance of good health and positivity would be ideal, but it can get difficult.

No One Cares

You feel completely isolated and alone, and people are sick of you not solving your issues to get into a positive place. Friends have gone away, and you have no one or very few people to listen to you. Negativity can only be tolerated for so long before positive people leave the scene.

Why Bother?

Getting used to being somewhat negative has become a lifestyle choice, and it’s harder to change, so why bother changing? Everyone around you is miserable, so you may as well join in the life-is-so-hard mindset and stop trying to fix what you’re not totally sure is broken. If so many people are miserable, what makes you think you shouldn’t be too?

You’re Out of Control

Perhaps you’re married to a narcissist. Maybe you work for you family member who is a tyrant at work and wants to nab you for everything you do wrong while ignoring anything you do well. **Wait, is this just me?** Feeling out of control is a horrible feeling, and when you do, you tend to give up and accept the negative surroundings.

Raised with Trauma

If you’re like me and raised in a space that turns out to have been pretty traumatic, you will get absolutely no support from family who wants to hide it or keep it the same. When you’re raised in trauma and grow up thinking it’s normal, you don’t even know there are other ways of living. Happiness and positivity don’t exist. They are temporary and fleeting.

In My Happy Place Reading a Book

The reason it’s good to stay positive is because there is a better way of living. I’m living proof of it. Each day (now) I wake up with a rainbow coming out of my ass and I absolutely love it. I rise from my sleep very early, with a positive attitude, and I don’t take life for granted anymore. It took effort, my friends. Staying optimistic and knowing there was something else, something I hadn’t gotten to experience yet, was my motivation. I wanted to see just how happy I could be in life. And my gems, I tell you now, life is better than good. It’s the grandest experience I could’ve imagined. If this gives you nothing else, I hope it gives you hope to get that mental headspace into a place where you have hope, and that leads to positivity.

I may be asking a lot of you here, to stay positive around negativity. I’d feel like that, anyway. Positive people are annoying, right? Especially when you’re in a darker place in life. Once upon a time I thought that, too. In fact, I grew up in such a morose environment where happiness was perceived as such a negative thing that I learned to never express it - EVER. Honestly I still don’t around my family of origin. It was that ingrained in me.

Because I’m very observant, I have watched other people my whole life, seeing how they lived, how they interacted with others, and deciding the type of person I wanted to be based on people I saw and continue to see. I’ve gained tips from asking and observing, and I’m going to share them with you. We have so many resources nowadays, and I will share with you my favorites, free and not free.

You Are Who You Hang Out With

My biggest hack is eliminating negative people from my life. It started long ago, little by little. Saying no to more people who made me feel worse about myself than good. Declining family get-togethers because I was sick of showing up as an unhappy person to fit in. My inner circle became more of a dot, and who I allow in is very specific. I only allow genuinely happy people, and/or people who work on their happiness every single day. It’s an effort, and I want myself and the people I surround myself with to be happy people.

Get Some Reading In

An easy way for me to stay positive in a negative environment is by reading. It could be fiction or non-fiction, but reading is a fantastic way of eliminating negativity for a while, which allows your brain to shut off the misery, even temporarily. My favorite genre of books is self-help, and I’m linking here my top self-improvement books. These are ones I have included to reflect all the wisdom I’ve gained from authors who are generous enough to share their lifelong experiences. Buy them or rent them from the library, either way. You’ll benefit from their knowledge.

Shake Your Tailfeather

You are 100% not going to stay negative if you are cutting a rug. I don’t care if it’s in your shower, in your living room, or at a dance club. Put some music on that lights your ass up and get to stepping. Or dancing, really. Dancing is something I incorporated to my daily routine because I wanted to be happier. I made a playlist (2, actually) of songs that I never get tired of, and I play them all the time. Whoever makes you move that happy little tush of yours, put them on repeat. You can find a few minutes to do this each day. That much I know.

Write About It

Journaling has become my greatest hack in the way my mind shifts. I can start out miserable, complaining, bitching to myself to high heaven in the start of my journal entry, then end up smiling and imagining my future life in Paris. Writing out what you need to get out is so important. My coach, Anna (linked here), has a journal class that I have recommended to people who are unsure how to get started. She helped me realized its importance, and since I have become a great writer to myself and to you. Thank her for my ability to write this amazing content! This is my favorite journal.

Move Your Body

A very common item on my list of importance to people struggling with staying positive is to simply move your body. Go for a walk daily, even if it’s 10 minutes. Join a yoga studio and zen out for an hour. Kick the shit out of a bag at a kickboxing class. Yes, I’ve done all and have now a great routine. Never underestimate the power of your mind and body connection, and know that when you’re physically moving, your brain is jumping for joy and firing different rounds of endorphins, serotonin, dopamine, and all kinds of other things that work FOR your positivity. If you’re not regularly moving, you’re missing a huge way to remain in a positive state

Eat the Right Foods, Drink the Right Liquids

When you are eating crap, your body is very sad. Getting your diet (as in what you eat, not what you’re depriving yourself of) in order is wildly important to your mood. If you’re eating processed foods, eating out all the time, or eating lots of sugar, you’re not going to be a happy camper long-term. Short-term, yes. That’s not the goal. Additionally, if you’re drinking alcohol when you’re teetering on the pits of despair, you’re only setting yourself up for more negativity. Alcohol is a depressant, and that much is clear. I’ve cut back tremendously, and here I’ll share the results of me doing so. It was game-changing. I’m more positive and can remain that way even when other want to drag me into their cesspool of unhappiness. Not today, Satan. Water and mocktails for this happy unicorn.

Dress for the Mood You Want

At my lowest point in my life to date, I would wake up each day wondering how to get through the day. One thing that I never compromised on was dressing for the part I wanted each day, and that part was lead happy ass. No way did I know how to achieve that day to day, but I put on clothes that I looked in the mirror and thought “you look really good today, Lizzie.”

To this day, my clothes are so important to me because they give me a sense of control over how I feel. When I feel good in an outfit, I then boost my mood immediately. It’s a snowball effect, and I do recommend to you this method of mood shifting. Don’t have clothes you like? This is a great excuse to get yourself some. Trial and error and lots of self-love. Dress for the mood you want to represent. No black!

Bathroom Selfie on a Solo Date!

My hope is to have identified why it’s hard to stay positive and to give you ample ways to combat that feeling. I’m very familiar with this situation, though it has been a while because I decided years ago to get away from negative environments, and it all started with me. Our mood, attitude, the ability to surround your with positive things and people…it’s all contributing to your quest to remain positive. It can and will happen, it just takes effort and some tweaking. Once your mindset changes, your environment naturally adjusts. You’ll find yourself further and further from that pit of unhappiness, and soon you’ll be calling me to tell me about your own rainbow coming out of your ass in the mornings. I can’t wait for that day, and I hope this was helpful to you. Be kind to yourself, and know I’m rooting for you.

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