My Favorite Things to Do Alone

Doing things alone didn't always come with the joy it does today for me. There was a time when I felt weird, uncomfortable, and awkward if I was by myself. Sitting at a restaurant as a singular person was out of the question for me - I would rather eat a peanut butter sandwich at home rather than dine alone. A solo trip wasn't even swirling in my brain. Now, things are different. Very different.

The switch flipped when I moved out of my hometown and away from everything familiar. What choice did I have but to get out and do things? I realized that no one was looking at me strangely if I was bellied up to a bar, or boarding a plane with just myself. I gave myself the gift of freedom, and now so much of what I enjoy happens to be things I do alone. I wait for no one to enjoy my life, and I would never look back.

Spending time alone does not mean you are lonely at all. It means you're comfortable in your own skin and enjoy your own company, and that's saying a lot. Whether it's simply taking a book to a park and reading or wandering a new city on your own, being by yourself is one of the most peaceful things you can do in life.

Whether you want solo date ideas, fun things to do alone, or simply want to get more comfortable spending time by yourself, here are some of my favorite things to do alone.

Each year that passes, I expand my horizons on things to do alone. It becomes more and more desirable to spend time with myself, and I love how much I enjoy it. Being alone gives me a fresh perspective on life and helps me practice self care, which is usually much needed. Many nights I opt to stay in to get to know myself a smidge better. I show up to the world a better person when I do this.

As the saying goes "wherever you go, there you are." So we may as well be fully present and attentive to who we truly are. If you're struggling to want to spend time with yourself, I understand. It can be uncomfortable at first. However, when you see how awesome you are, you may want more, and it may grow with time. Let's see how to get you there.

I don't know about you, but my home is my sanctuary, and I absolutely love being in my home and being alone. Though I am never truly alone because I have 3 critters who keep me company at all times. You don't always need a big plan or a packed social calendar to enjoy your life. In fact, many of my friends who also enjoy alone time like to joke and sy we have JOMO (joy of missing out). Some of the most restorative moments happen at home when you finally slow down enough to actually hear yourself think.

Read A Book Somewhere Cozy

I'm a huge fan of reading. I'm usually reading a couple of books at any given time, different genres, and squeezing in time for just a few more pages in the day. For me, reading is a whole experience. I have a reading corner on my couch, have my homemade chai tea, and a cat making biscuits on my lap. It's heaven. If I'm feeling "extra," I light a candle for the full effect.

Cook Yourself A Nice Meal

One of my most favorite things to do to spoil myself is cooking a really delicious and healthy meal. I love being in charge of the ingredients I put into my body, how I feel so good afterwards, and how empowered I am that I have the privilege to do this for myself. Occasionally, I pick up a bottle of wine and have a glass to top off the evening with some ritz. Often I'm listening to music and dancing during the meal prep, and that adds to the fun.

Journal Without Editing Yourself

I'm a huge fan of journaling, and I do it sometimes a couple of times per day, depending on what I am dealing with in life. My brain is wired for writing as an outlet, and it's very cathartic to me to write my thoughts down so they aren't swirling around with nowhere to go. My advice if you're not used to journaling is to not edit yourself. Get it all out. You may surprise yourself with what you put on the pages.

Have A Spa Day At Home

Spa days for me may not look the same as spa days for you. The extent for me is doing my nails, as I absolutely love caring for them myself. If I were to give someone advice on a spa day, I would encourage taking a nice, hot bath, getting into a robe, ditching your phone, and reading a magazine of your choice. Caring for oneself is imperative, especially in the fast-paced world we live in.

Watch A Movie You Actually Want To See

I love watching movies that I choose, as they are often not what others are interested in. I'm a huge WWII fan, and I watch anything and everything to do with it. It's not how many people consider winding down would look, but I get to choose, and that's my choice. Pick whatever genre movie you want to watch, lay on the couch, eat your popcorn, and enjoy.

Listen to Live Music

I still struggle on some nights with spending time alone because I often think I "should" be doing something. Whether it's going to dinner with friends or seeing live music or something else, I often wonder if I'm missing out. However, I remind myself that I actually love spending time with myself, and if I want to do something, I can go on my own without a hesitation. I do have the power to do that. Here's what to do at night alone.

Go To A Wine or Cocktail Bar

Enjoying a cocktail or glass of wine, especially at happy hour, is such a nice thing to do by yourself. It opens you up to meeting people around you, particularly if you opt to sit at the bar. I've had some wonderful conversations with complete strangers, and was so glad I ventured out on my own. If you are visiting or in New Orleans, I also have a guide to the best bars in the city where you can get cocktails or wine.

Take Yourself To Dinner

Learning how to eat alone at restaurants is genuinely life-changing. At first it can feel uncomfortable, but eventually you realize how freeing it is to enjoy a meal without needing company distracting you. Solo dinners make you more present because you notice the atmosphere, food, and people around you more fully. Because I solo travel often, I'm used to it, and have really learned to love it. Take a book with you if you fear yourself getting uncomfortable.

Go To A Movie Alone

Going to the movies alone feels awkward exactly one time. After that, it becomes amazing. I used to have a tradition of taking myself to a posh movie theater where they served meals and fancy popcorn. Sadly the place shut down, but that's my kind of alone time - watching a good movie with good food and no one tapping you on the shoulder for a bite of your snacks or to comment on a scene. Buzz off!

Listen To Live Music

One of my top fun things to do if you're feeling spunky in the evening is going out to listen to live music. Living in New Orleans, it's actually one of my recommendations for solo travelers to do, and enjoy doing it when I travel as well. It's a great way to blow off some steam and feel some rhythm in your body.

Take An Evening Walk

Evening walks can become one of the healthiest solo habits you build. Put on music, listen to a podcast, or simply walk without distractions for a while. I'll often take my dog with me so we both get the benefit of the walk, and we both feel great afterwards. It's a nice transition into winding down for the night.

Morning Coffee Shop Time

Being outside does something for your mental health and state in a positive way. Getting outside or out of your house once in a while can do you good. Trust me, I have to remind myself of this as an introvert and writer. It's easy to shut yourself in, but I do encourage you to get out sometimes.

Sit At A Coffee Shop

Coffee shops are one of the easiest places to get comfortable being alone. Bring a book, do some work, journal, or sit and people-watch for a while. Some of my favorite mornings and afternoons have been spent alone in cafés in both New Orleans and Paris with absolutely no agenda for the day. New Orleans residents and visitors, I have a fantastic guide to my favorite coffee shops in the city.

Visit A Museum

Museums are honestly better alone sometimes. You can spend as much time as you want in the exhibits that interest you and skip the ones that do not. Being rushed or slowed down in a place is no way to live life. I'm a huge fan of a solo date to a place like a museum.

Go To A Farmers Market

This is an activity I do regularly alone. In fact, I exclusively go alone to the farmers markets because I love chatting with the vendors, poking around to see what I want to experiment with ingredient-wise, and sometimes I am rushing through it. The experience is all mine, and I love how lovely of a time I have week after week.

Read In The Park

I'll bring up reading again because it's such a big part of my life. If you live in a place where you can take a book to relax and read, I genuinely think this is one of the best alone time activities one can do. Find a park bench or swing and get lost in a novel that you've been putting off. I now want to stop writing this and go read in a park. Alas, I'll finish.

Take A Solo Day Trip

Solo day trips build confidence quickly because they remind you how capable you actually are. You don't have to go far. Driving somewhere an hour away for the day can make life feel more adventurous and expansive again. I've done this before to Ocean Springs and an area that has swamps and it is a perfect getaway. Put on your favorite podcast and hit the road.

Taking Myself on a Solo Date and Looking My Finest...for Me

Doing things alone is a skill. It's not something everyone was born with. Even though I used to be very dependent on other people being with me, I chose to hone this skill and get better at it. Now you can't pay me to do something with people I don't really love spending time with. Like most skills, it gets easier the more you practice it.

Start Small

You do not need to immediately book a solo international trip to become comfortable alone. Confidence builds slowly over time. Start with something simple:

• getting coffee alone
• walking through a bookstore
• taking yourself to lunch
• attending a workout class

Stop Assuming Everyone Is Watching You

When I realized no one gives a hoot about what I am doing, I felt free to do nearly anything alone without fearing judgment. Most people are not paying attention to you nearly as much as you think they are. Do you, and people will continue to do themselves.

Put Your Phone Away Sometimes

Most of us are device addicts. They make them so we are and it's not our fault. However, if you constantly hide behind your phone while alone, you never fully learn how to be present with yourself. That discomfort eventually turns into peace if you let it, and you find just how dissatisfying it is to be on all the time.

Romanticize Your Life

I love romanticizing my life. When I book solo dates with myself, I'm going all out and pulling out all the stops. I'm treating myself like a queen. So, wear the outfit. Order dessert. Book the reservation. Your life does not become meaningful only when someone else is there to witness it. You are enough to make it special.

Learn What You Actually Enjoy

When you spend time alone, you stop automatically making decisions around other people’s preferences. You start figuring out what you actually like and don't like. It's trial and error and process of elimination. I'm REAL clear about what I want and don't want to do now, and it makes it easier for me to say yes or no to things I'm invited to. No more wasting my time because I don't know what my own preferences are.

Reading on my Screen Porch with My Furry Companion

One of the biggest things I have learned from spending time alone is that your relationship with yourself matters more than almost anything else. The more comfortable you become on your own, the less likely you are to stay in friendships, relationships, or situations that do not truly align with you. Learning to enjoy your own company is not sad. To the contrary, it is freedom. And something you'll never want to live without after you experience it. Don't wait for someone else to enjoy YOUR life. Live it with yourself, alone but not lonely, in the most fantastical way you can.

If you liked this guide, you may also like the one I wrote on how to raise your self worth or how to overcome insecurity.

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